


Flo-RAY-ography

by Agent 606 (thepineandthestar)



Series: They just got your messages~ [8]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Ah this is so sad, Day 10 branch, Day 4 Branch, F/M, Im so sad for my bab, Major major spoilers, Not just day 4, Okay so i started off with "no archive warnings apply" now i'm on "major character death" bc y not?, Ray is a desperate bab, Ray/MC in general, Spoilers to V route, V Route, V route is full of angststststst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-11
Updated: 2018-05-03
Packaged: 2019-01-15 23:50:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12331314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thepineandthestar/pseuds/Agent%20606
Summary: Floriography (n.)-The language of flowersTHIS IS NOW MY COLLECTION OF STORIES FOR RAAAAAAAAAY~ YES THEY'RE MOSTLY ANGST BECAUSE WHY NOT?Chapter 1:Novelization of V Route Day 4 branchChapter 2:It Happened Once (Ray-centered angst)Chapter 3:Silently, Patiently (how Ray probably felt before his last VN)Chapter 4:Birthday Bash (this is actually NOT angst for once)Chapter 5:What I could (oh it's defo angst)





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HIIIIIIII! IT'S ME HERE WRITING THIS BRANCH BECAUSE IT HURT ME A LOT ALSO SUJIN KANG'S VOICE ACTING WAS SO GOOD IN THIS VN I CRIED SO BECUASE I HAVE RO REFUSE RAY'S LOVE AND I AM IN PAIN FOR IT, I'M GONNA SHARE THE PAIN WITH YOU~

The moment he had walked in to the room, you knew something was up. It wasn’t that you didn’t trust Ray, per se, you didn’t trust him fully enough. Everything that he said in the past four days was enough to sweep you off your feet.

That is, if the situation was normal and that Ray was a normal guy who took you out on dates, cooked for you, and talked to you regularly.

No, the situation was _far_ from it. He was your game developer and you were the beta tester for this e-boyfriend thing game, which was starting to look suspicious (are the guys _really_ just AIs?). He took you somewhere you didn’t even have the chance to see the way to, stuck on a floor of a big mansion-like house, and was given things on a silver platter; quite literally actually.

Now, four days later, he’d confessed that he liked you and that he wanted to keep you there forever.

_A bit… obsessive though._

“Hi, MC,” he greeted, snapping you out of your thoughts

You stood from the bed, hiding your phone at your back. He abruptly came to your room, you thought you had at least a few more minutes to compose yourself.

“There seems to be a lot going on in your head,” Oh so your occupied expression was obvious

You blinked twice then focused your gaze into his eyes, giving him a small, shy smile.

He dropped the topic, giving you back a smile, “I’m already done with all the preparations. You only need to choose, MC.”

_Somehow that smile looks… devious._

His expression softened. He stepped towards you, grabbing your free hand gently with both of his, bringing it close to his chest.

“Will you please stay with me forever and on?” He asked, a little bit of desperation lacing his words

You bit your lip then pulled your hand away from him. You looked down, not wanting to see the pain that flashed on his face for a second or two.

“I… no thanks,” you responded, “I’ll return as soon as the game is over.”

“Ah,” he uttered weakly, “I see. If… if that’s what you wish.”

You looked back up to meet his eyes but it wasn’t much of a good decision since all you saw was sorrow in them.

“But I worked so hard to make my preparations. So… could you at least take a look at what I have for you?” He asked weakly, “Please?”

_If there was one thing Ray was an expert of, it was guilt tripping._

Looking at and hearing him, felt like kicking a stray puppy who was doing nothing to you. He was like a stray puppy but you didn’t have a choice but to leave it behind since your apartment doesn’t allow pets. That was what it felt like whenever he was guilt tripping you.

“There’s something I want to show you - to you only,” he said then offered his hand to you, “Could you come over here for a moment?”

You hesitantly put your hand on his then you felt him pull you until the two of you were walking out of the room and going off the floor you were supposed to stay in.

“This is a bit weird,” you spoke, “What is it? What are you trying to do?”

You tried looking around, searching for any clue where you were currently staying at but there were only darkness and with the speed that you were going at, you couldn’t make out anything.

You two started going down a flight of stairs.

“My savior told me,” he started, “that sometimes, we must _force_ salvation.”

You pull away from him but his grip tightened, “P-P-Pardon?”

What seemed like endless stairs finally stopped then you were led further into the darkness.

“Over here, follow me,” he said

“Where are we going?” You asked,trying to pry even just one answer from him

He opened a door, pushed you inside, then locked it behind him. There were dimmed lights inside until he flicked a switch which brightened the whole room. The room held a whole wall of working monitors with encryptions you had no idea was about. Was it for the game?

“It’s where I’m always working,” he answered, “I’ve never shown it to you, have I? Don’t be scared.”

You felt yourself stepping away from him when he took a step forward.

“Welcome to my room!” He greeted you

“I, uh, there are a lot of computers…” you pointed out

“Yes.” Ray gave you a sweet smile, “This is where I develop the game you’re testing and collect information on it.”

You took a look at the center monitor, entrancing yourself with the logo of an eye. You felt goosebumps all over your body when you felt him step behind you, putting a gentle hand on your shoulder.

“There’s no need for a signature for this contract,” he whispered to your ear, sending chills down your spine, “You only have to take a special elixir developed at the place… as a promise you’ll stay here.”

You turned around and found yourself face to face with Ray. Somehow, his cold mint eyes are warming you up and reeling you in.

_B-But no. I have to get out of this place._

“Special elixir?” You spoke

He smirked, “Yes, I worked hard to prepare it for today. Close your eyes.”

Strangely enough, you found yourself following his orders.

The feeling of warmth close to you left but it was soon back.

“One…”

“Two…”

“Three…”

You slowly opened your eyes.

“Here look.”

You managed to not look at his face but at the glowing blue liquid in a bottle that he held. It looked so enchanting, like it was the best tasting liquid you would ever taste. It even looked tempting to drink.

“What’s this?” You asked, your finger skimming the bottle’s shape

“This place develops medicine as well. This elixir will make you happy. You prove that you belong here by taking this elixir,” he explained, “Then you can officially become a resident of this place. You can stay here… with me… forever.”

 _Wait. Make me happy? Elixir?_ **_Medicine?_** _What kind of gaming company creates medicine?_

“It looks very suspicious,” you pointed out

From its glow to its purpose, something was _definitely_ off.

Ray chuckled, “That’s probably because it’s your first time seeing it. There’s no way I would make you sad. MC, all I wish for is your happiness.”

“You can become happy and get a glimpse of what paradise is like if you take this elixir,” he added, grabbing your hand to grasp the bottle’s neck, “You’ll get to realize what a true happiness is little by little.”

“You’re… not telling me to drink this, are you?” You asked

He frowned ever so slightly, “The contract to stay here is made complete only when you drink it. You don’t want to…?”

He furrowed his brows, “You put your faith in me and came all this way here. Can’t you trust me just one more time?”

When he saw your still hesitant face, he sighed, “I truly with to make you happy. Didn’t you enjoy staying here with me? You… you played my game for me, and, and, and you talked and chatted with me and you made happy memories with me,” his face flashed disbelief, “I thought… I thought we were able to form such a connection because we’re similar in some ways.”

His eyes glistening with tears met your panicked ones, “I thought I could see all of the anxiety, sadness, and loneliness inside you and that’s why I want to make you happier.”

He let out a shaky breath, running his hand across his white and pink hair, “I don’t want you to feel any of the pains or woes I’ve suffered. You’ll get to experience much more entertaining things than that game us you drink this.”

He shoved the elixir into your hand, “Drink this and open your eyes next morning and your world will be flooded with happiness. I’ll be there for you if you’re scared. You’re not alone.”

He gave you an unsteady smile, “So MC, don’t let anxiety and fear get you too. You’re afraid, I know how you feel. You’re anxious and scared because you don’t know what will happen to you.”

He grabbed a lock of your hair gently, placing a hand to your cheek which, oddly enough, you found yourself wanting, “It’s okay. No need to hesitate.” His voice had gone low and comforting, “I’ll stat by your side. I’ve always been alone but… but you’re not alone. And… and I’ll not longer be alone as well once you drink this because you’ll be my companion as well.”

He grabbed the bottle from you, opening it and nearing it to your face, “Now drink it, MC. It smells sweet, doesn’t it? I invite you to paradi-.”

_Knock knock knock_

You two turned towards the door, the momentum being destroyed. You snapped out of your stupor. For a second there, you were going to just accept Ray’s offer of this so-called paradise.

“Who is it at this important moment?” Ray glared at the door, “I thought I told everyone to stay away from this place.”

_Knock knock knock knock_

“Wait,” Ray whispered to himself, “perhaps she’s looking for me?”

_She?_

“Give me a moment, MC,” he stated before going over to the door and opening it

In entered a tall man in a dark robe with gold designs. He let his head hang low but it was obvious that he was trying to get a glimpse of something inside. Once he took a look at you, he stopped and his eyes widened with recognition but you didn’t have a clue who this guy was.

“We have a problem with the server room. This is an emergency,” the man stated

“What?” Ray groaned in frustration, “Of all times? Hang on. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you before.”

“The Savior is also there,” the man responded, “You must go now, Mr. Ray.”

“Wait,” Ray started, “This voice… I’ve heard this voice before.”

“This isn’t the time to be suspicious,” you said, sensing that there was something about this guy that he needed to keep Ray away, “You should hurry up and go, Ray!”

“Uh… I should,” Ray murmured, “But before that… Just who are you? Take your hood off.”

“V-Very well, just a moment please,” the man slowly pulled his hood down

Ray rolled his eyes at the speed. His hood was almost off when he pushed Ray to the side, startling Ray.

“MC! You shouldn’t drink that thing!” The man yelled

With the push, the bottle slipped from Ray’s hands, dropping it and shattering the glass.

“N-no!” Ray yelled, hand reaching out towards the remnants of the bottle, “The bottle broke!”

You took a step towards Ray, helping him up and pulling him away from the shards of glass.

“Who are you?” You asked the mysterious man, “What’s going on?!”

The man pulled his hood off, “It’s V, Jihyun!”

You gasped deeply, grasp on Ray feeling as if it was searing hot. You let go of the white-headed man, looking at Ray then back at the man who was supposedly V.

“This way! We must get out of here now,” V said, catching your attention

“You… you weren’t an AI?” You asked weakly, “Were you an actual person?”

_So that means… the others weren’t AIs too? They’re real people? They’re… they’re real people._

“What do you mean by that?” V asked before shrugging it off, “Wait, this isn’t the time to discuss that! Over here! Quickly!”

You started walking towards V when Ray shouted.

“No!” The tone of his voice scared you, “You can’t take her away from me!”

You stood between the two men, confused on who you would follow.

“Traitor! Why is that traitor in this building?!” Ray yelled

Another person wearing the same robe as V entered the room, “Mr. Ray! What is it?”

“Traitor!” Ray pointed harshly at V, “It’s the traitor! We have a traitor here!”

The other person gasped, “Intruder! We have an intruder!”

Ray shouted, “Stop him! Don’t let him take her away! No, not here! Don’t take her away from me!”

V ran to you, starting to lead you to the direction of the door, “We’re getting out of here. This way!”

“No!” Ray exclaimed before rushing towards the two of you and grabbing your hand tightly

“Not her!” Ray glared at V, “Not a chance.”

V looked around nervously as the room started being filled with other people wearing the same clothing as him.

“Damn! Looks like we can’t escape together. More people are coming,” he spoke in a panicked tone, “D-Don’t let them trick you, MC. I’ll save you no matter what.”

Ray pushed V away from you, “Don’t give that rubbish to MC! You’re the one tricking her!”

“I’ll come back later,” V said as he backed away, “Until then, please… please be safe, MC.”

“There is no later!” Ray yelled, voice cracking, “Don’t you dare try to take MC away from me. I won’t let you even get close to her.”

“Don’t ever take the drug they give you at this place,” V warned, “And don’t take anything that looks suspicious.”

“Protect Mr. Ray!” A random person commanded to which the rest responded “Understood!”

“I’ll come back for you. I-m sorry we can’t escape together as of now,” V stated

“Don’t worry about me and get him!” Ray ordered, pointing at V with his free hand, “The one our Savior was looking for!”

V quickly ran away and out of sight. Ray let out strangled breaths and weak shouts filled with pain.

“Mr. Ray, should we go after him?” A person asked

“Yes, you must get him no matter what,” Ray replied, “And we must take him to the Savior.” The next few words were said with a low voice, “Then we can finally find peace then I can keep MC safe.”

“Understood,” the person replied before every one of them followed V’s trail

Ray breathed unevenly. You tried pulling your wrist away from him which made him realize that you were still there and he was still holding you. He let go of you then looked at the bruises that he inflicted on your wrist.

“I shouldn’t have opened the door,” he whispered, “Why now? Of all times… why now?”

There was a moment of silence between the two of you before you decided to point out the revealed lie he’d told you.

“The RFA wasn’t AIs.” You said

He turned to look at you and you saw his eyes being filled with tears again, “I didn’t have a choice. The savior told me that this is what I should tell you to bring you here.”

You stood there, still silent. He turned back to your bruise, staring at it as if he was trying to figure out what he could do to remove it.

“MC… are you hurt?” He asked you weakly

When you uttered a low “no”, he breathed a sigh of relief.

“Ah… thank heavens,” he said

When he finally noticed the broken bottle in the middle of the room, he let go of your wrist, instead, holding your hand with both of his.

“But… the bottle broke,” he pointed out, “It was… it was for you. Everything’s ruined.”

The tears streamed down his face but you didn’t know whether you should feel pity or feel betrayed. On one hand, he was just told to tell you all about the RFA being AIs. He was just another employee who was stuck doing somebody else’s dirty job. On the other hand, he didn’t correct his boss’ ways. He added on and on and on to the lies that he fed to you.

He turned back to you, now full-on crying, “Why do things like this happen when happiness is just within my grasp? I-I only wished to make _you_ happy,” His voice cracked, “I only wished to be happy _with_ you.”

“You’re the one who hacked the actual messenger,” you whispered, suddenly realizing everything that he had ever said wasn’t true

So his feelings… were they not true too?

“You’re not gonna trust me anymore?” He asked, “Now, the RFA are the good guys for you instead of me?!”

You flinched at his tone, stepping away from him. His eyes softened when he saw your reaction then stepped in forward to keep you close.

“The Savior told me I had to do that to make everything go smooth,” he spoke, “I’m sorry for lying to you but please don’t doubt me… _please_.”

He let out a weak sigh, breaking eye contact as he turned back to the broken bottle. He wiped his cheeks using his sleeves before speaking again, tone suddenly a bit colder.

“Just… rest for the night. I should go report this to the Savior,” he said

“Who is this Savior?” You asked

“You’ll soon get to see her in person,” he answered then looked at you again, “I… don’t want to leave you right now,” he added, voice now small and vulnerable, “I’m too anxious and I’m so sad. But… if I don’t report to the Savior, an even greater disaster might befall.”

He let out another sigh, closing his eyes then opening it, meeting with yours, “MC, can I trust you?” He shook his head, “No… no, I will trust you. I’ll trust that you won’t betray me.”

“None of your words agree with what you said before,” you spoke, “I… I don’t trust you.”

A flash of pain went through his face before he bit his lip, “I’m sorry. I’m just too nervous so even I don’t know what I’m saying. I must go to the Savior.” His eyes lit up like he had a brilliant idea, “She’ll be able to give me the right answer. Just give me a minute, MC, I’ll be right back.”

He placed a hand on your cheek but you turned away and he dropped it, “Don’t think of anything sad while I’m gone. I’ll get going. I’ll get my answers from the Savior.” He scowled, “I gotta get that villain too. I must do something before he comes for you again, no matter what.”

He pulled you close to him and gave you a loose hug, “I’ll keep you safe,” he whispered, “So stay here. Don’t go anywhere. You must stay here until I’m back, MC.”

He let you out of the hug before exiting the room and locking it behind him.

Once he was out of the door, you let out a breath that you didn’t know you were holding.

_What have I gotten myself into?_

•••

The moment he closed the door behind him, he dropped to his knees that were wanting to give out a long time ago. He let out a sob but made sure that you had no idea that he was crying again. He wiped his tears furiously but they kept on coming.

“I almost lost you,” he whispered into the air, “I’m not losing you again.”


	2. It Happened Once

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Darlings I just finished Ray's last chatroom and VN and I am in so much paaaaaaaaaaaaaaain

Ray was happy. For the few times it happened in the year, he was actually, genuinely happy; no doubts about it. How could he not? He happened to love the best woman to ever exist in the world and that woman loved him back.

He’d just escorted her back to her room after their second walk to the garden. She was ever so breathtaking.

A million thoughts ran through Ray’s mind when he was with her.

_My heart’s beating too fast, I hope she can’t hear it. Would it be fine if I tell her that she looks beautiful in that light? Would it seem creepy if I take a picture of her right now? I really love the way that her hair sways. Would she tell me that she likes me back if I tell her that I like her?_

“Ray?” She spoke, silencing Ray’s thoughts all at once

His mind kept quiet, ears ever so ready to hear what her divine voice would let out. She had just said his name but it was as if she held his breath.

“Ray,” she repeated, her gentle eyes meeting his mint ones, “I really like you.”

His eyes widened as he tried to process her words which seemed to echo endlessly in his mind.

_Ray, I really like you._

_Ray, I really like you._

_Ray, I really like you._

_Ray, I really like you._

“R-really?” He whispered after a moment, “You like me?”

She gave him the sweetest smile that rivaled the best ice cream he had ever tasted, “Yeah, I do. I really really _really_ like you.”

“Wow,” he spoke breathlessly, “I like you too! A lot! I-I mean, yeah…” he sighed happily, a stupid grin making its way on his face, “Yeah. I like you too.”

Then she had entered her room with one more goodbye and goodnight to him. He made his way over to his own room, slouching on his computer chair then watching the CCTV feed from her room.

It seemed like she was playing the game while she waited for sleep to take her to dreamland.

Ray couldn’t keep his eyes off her figure, watching every curve, every inch of her being, embracing the fact that, yes, she liked him too, she liked him back and there were no worries.

His phone rang abruptly, snapping him out of his trance. He picked it up as quickly as he could when he saw who the caller was.

“MC!” He exclaimed, a smile on his face again as the butterflies from before went back to his stomach, “I thought you were sleeping.”

_“I couldn’t sleep.”_

“Why is that?” Saeran furrowed his brows

Was she uncomfortable? Was it too hot in her room? Too cold? Was she feeling bad? Was she hungry? Did she need something? Was she… oh no, was she sick? She couldn’t be sick!

_“I kept on thinking about you.”_

His train of thought stopped when she had finally answered.

So the reason why she couldn’t sleep… was him. _He_ was the reason why she couldn’t sleep. She was thinking about _him_!

_“Were you trying to sleep?”_

“N-n-no, not yet,” Ray responded, unable to control the overwhelming wave of emotions, “I had something to finish.”

 _“Well you better go to sleep after,”_ then she yawned.

“If you’re sleepy now, I won’t keep you awake any longer,” Ray stated, feeling guilty when he heard her yawn

_“No, no, it’s fine. I just… couldn’t get you out of my mind. Why is that?”_

Ray felt like jumping. He felt like yelling to let out the excessive happiness that he was feeling. This was too much happiness, he didn’t deserve this, but this woman was showing it to him, giving the happiness to him, how could he resist?

“I don’t know,” he responded, “I can’t seem to take you out of my mind either.”

_“Well then, we have a problem now, don’t we, Ray?”_

“Saeran,”

_“What?”_

“From now on, I’d love it if you call me Saeran,” he spoke

_“Okay… Saeran.”_

Saeran chuckled, “Did you hear that explosion?”

_“Explosion? What explosion? Are you okay over there? Are you hurt?”_

Saeran laughed weakly, “No, I’m fine. My… heart. It exploded with happiness.”

He heard her let out the best giggle in the entire universe, _“Oh Saeran.”_

“I love it when you say my name,” Saeran whispered, “It’s a privilege only _you_ get to have, not even the savior could say my name.”

_“And why is that?”_

“Because… only the people most dear to my heart knows it and uses it,” Saeran responded, “And now that you’re saying it… I feel like I’m the luckiest man in the world. I… I feel like I can do anything with you.”

_“That sounds nice, Saeran.”_

Saeran sighed, “You know, I always thought that I never deserved to be happy. I always thought of that until I met you.”

_“No one doesn’t deserve happiness, Saeran. You’re just as deserving as any other person in the world.”_

“Y-Yeah but…” Saeran sighed, “You know, you’re right. Because I have you, I feel like I deserve so many more things.”

_“You’ll have me forever. I won’t leave you, I won’t ever abandon you. I’ll be with you until the end of our days.”_

Saeran’s chin trembled then he felt a trail of wetness down his cheeks, “I… wait, am I crying…?”

_“Saeran? Are you okay?”_

“I’m fine, I-… I’m crying. I’m crying because of your words,” Saeran answered as more and more tears dropped from his eyes, “You must think that I’m so pathetic now.”

_“Actually… no. I’m touched, Saeran. Nobody has ever cared for me as much as you do and I’m so thankful to have you in my life too.”_

Saeran sobbed, wiping the tears from his face, “You mean it? Y-you won’t abandon me, right?”

_“I will never. Thank you, Saeran.”_

“Th-ank _you_ ,” Saeran stated, “You should… you should go to sleep now.”

_“Only if you promise that you’ll follow soon.”_

“I will, I will.” Saeran nodded, “Good night, my princess. Sweet dreams.”

_“Good night, Saeran…”_

_“…I love you.”_

His eyes widened, “Wh-what? You… love me?”

_“Yes, I love you, Saeran. I love you. I love you. I love you.”_

Saeran trembled, “I love you too. I love you too, MC! God, I love you so much!”

_“Good night, Saeran. We’ll see each other tomorrow, okay?”_

“Okay,” Saeran replied, “Good night.”

Then the other line went dead. Saeran held onto his phone tightly, still trembling and crying hard.

_She loves me._

He laughed out loud, genuinely. He hadn’t laughed in so long that his laugh felt so foreign to his ears. He wiped away his tears then headed off to his bed, feeling tired and droopy from all the crying despite the hammering in his chest.

It would all be fine tomorrow. He’d wake up to see a text from him then they’d have breakfast together, then they’d spend eternity together. He was going to spend his whole life with his one and only love.

He closed his eyes immediately falling into deep slumber.

•••

The moment he opened his eyes, he felt that something was amiss. He grabbed his phone and checked.

_No new notifications_

He sat up and rubbed his eyes that were sore from all the crying. Maybe MC hasn’t woken up yet, that was why she hadn’t texted him good morning.

Maybe a breakfast was better spent with her.

With a smile, he made his way to the kitchen to prepare a breakfast for the two of them. It would be fun sharing a meal with the best woman in his life.

He had finished quickly then went to the third floor, to her room. He knocked once but there was no response.

_Maybe she’s still sleeping._

He shrugged then slowly opened the door, entering…

Then seeing the empty bed and the bouquet of roses that were slowly starting to wilt.

_Oh…_

He felt his heart break slowly, like a badly glued up vase that was breaking apart again.

_It was all a dream._

He dropped the tray of food he had in his hands as his knees buckled.

That was right. MC left him days ago for V.

He felt his entire body shake at his impending cries. He was tired of all the crying that he was doing and he was so surprised that he still had enough water in his system to cry. He was so dried up that all he could do was cry and cry until sleep and a pounding headache would overtake.

The voice in his dream replayed.

_I love you, Saeran._

For a moment, he thought that it was real. For a moment, his dreams were enough to feed his desires of being with the only woman he had ever loved. For a moment he could be with the one he loved.

He could dream about it over and over again and he wished that he never woke up. He wished that he was sfuck in a come with only her in his mind, telling him that she loved him and that he loved her. Maybe then he could live out the life that he had planned so meticulously in his head with her.

Maybe then he could say that it happened once. It happened once… in a dream.


	3. Silently, Patiently

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this happens DURING the final VN before the last branch (Day 10). Like, it's not a re-writing of the VN but it happens in between situations.
> 
> So there's this part where Ray does a monologue, saying how the last mission's done and how he's supposed to leave too but he's got nowhere to go. After he says goodbye, THIS happens then the story follows the VN.
> 
> It's 11pm and I'm so emotional!!!

Ray sat on his computer chair, eyes not focused on anything but his face staring ahead at the numerous computer screens. His phone beeped and vibrated every now and then, alerting him that a chatroom was open and that people were interacting.

But he couldn’t care. He couldn’t care anymore. Not after what was happening and what was going to happen.

It had been, what, five days? Five days since he’d been abandoned by the one he loved but he waited every so patiently. He waited for the day she would log in the chats to tell him that she was on her way back. He waited for the day when he’d receive a call from her, asking him to pick her up so they’d spend eternity in each other’s arms.

His mind had been creating situations in which he would see her again and she’d be glad to see him. His dreams were plagued with memories of her and of what they could’ve been if she just happened to love him back. He loved her too much and it hurt. It hurt a lot.

But then… but then he was sitting there, in front of tons of computer screens showing a looped footage while the rest showed footage of people fleeing the building in different exits, waiting. Patiently waiting for the moment when she would call him to tell him how much he mattered to her, how much she needed him, how much she loved him.

_It couldn’t come too late though because if it did…_

Ray sighed, putting his head in his hands. It was only a matter of time before everything he worked for would be erased. His life work, his whole existence, gone like it wasn’t even there in the first place. It pained him to think of destroying what he was all about but it was for the best, it was for Mint Eye, it was for the Savior.

Ray turned to look at the clock on the bottom right corner of his computer screen.

_It’s almost time._

He sighed once again, feeling defeated by everything that was happening.

_The Savior left, I lost to Saeyoung, she’s never going to come back…_

His heart clenched at the last thought. His heart yearned for the day when he could finally call her his. He wished for the day when he’d tell her that she’s the most beautiful sky his eyes had ever laid on, when he could tell her that her eyes held all the stars in the universe. He waited for the day when he could finally go to sleep with the most precious woman in the world lying beside him and he’d wake up and she would still be there, kissing him a good morning as they set off to another happy day.

_Too bad it won’t ever happen now._

He stood up and grabbed the black stick with a red button on top which was placed carelessly on his computer table. Pocketing his phone, he walked out of his room, going up to the third floor, then entering the room that was so familiar to him.

His eyes scanned the pink princessy room. He saw the wilted bouquets on the bed, waiting for its owner, and the single piece of orange rose on the pillow where she once slept on. He closed the door behind him then made his way to the bed, lying down on the space where she didn’t sleep on. He turned to his side, looking at the side she usually slept on, pretending that she was still there and that everything was fine, everything was going on perfectly like he wanted it.

His phone rang the familiar ringtone he had set for the most special woman in his life. He took a moment before finally accepting the call. He cranked the volume up and set it to loud speaker so he could hear her voice clearly for the very last time.

“It’s you,” Ray whispered, a smile forming on his

_“Ray… you should turn yourself in._

His smile dropped, turning into a frown, “The first thing you say to me is… telling me to turn myself in? I was so happy to hear your voice, but your words are a bit sad.”

He lied down on his back then closed his eyes, focusing on her breath from the other end of the call.

“You know, I cannot forget the times I spent with you,” He started off, a smile lingering in his face again as he remembered the past few days but at the same time, his eyes filling up with tears quickly, “All the times I spent with you were so precious. I even questioned if it’s alright for me to be that happy.”

_“I enjoyed it as well.”_

His heart soared with her words, making his smile wider.

“Oh… that makes me glad.” He let out a weak chuckle then his chin quivered, “But for some reason, my eyes keep watering. Funny… I’m really happy right now. I’m so happy to listen to your voice, but… why?”

He opened his eyes, watching the intricately painted ceiling that she once had as her view, “Did you know that you have a unique ability when you talk?”

_“What kind of habit?”_

Ray hesitated on telling her if it was worth telling. On one hand, she would know that she had the ability to make his heart pump quickly whenever she would utter a word. On the other hand, he would like to keep it to himself like that of a guilty pleasure.

“Looks like you didn’t know. Um… I won’t tell you. If I tell you, I feel like your habit that only I knew will… will disappear,” he spoke, voice weak and cracking as he started crying again, soaking the pillows under his head, “I’ll keep this my secret forever, this habit even you didn’t know.”

“Anyway, I’m… I really liked it… talking with you and learning about you one by one,” he told her, “Whenever I learned more about you… no, whenever you talked to me, my heart raced.”

“At first I didn’t know what was happening to me because this never happened before. My heart raced, and I was so happy I thought I could die…” he gulped, “You taught me what this all means… what it means to feel the flutter inside.”

“And… and as I got to know you day by day…” he whispered, “I… I think I’ve come to treasure you in my heart.”

“You know… I really like you. I really _really_ like you a lot,” he admitted, “You showed me a whole new world. My world had infinitely widened from the small attic-like world I lived in by meeting you.”

He grinned wide, “Thank you… thank you.”

_“I thank you too, Ray.”_

“I knew you’d say that.” He chuckled, “You’re such a warm person… I really wanted to be happy with you.”

“I didn’t have the courage till the last minute,” he started, “I was really glad when you called. Thank you.”

He put the phone near his mouth, whispering with all the emotion he could, “I… I wanted to tell you that. Thank you…” he paused foe a second, “I love you.”

A fresh batch of tears ran down the sides of his face as he let out a relieved breath, “Oh… it’s time for me to hang up.”

_“Ray, wait!”_

He laughed weakly, “Just remember that my love for you was sincere. Good bye, my love. You must… become much happier than I was.” He kissed the speaker then hesitantly ended the call.

He went to the settings of his version of the RFA messenger quickly. His finger hovered the “Deactivate” option for his account when he finally and painfully clicked the option, deleting both the application and his account in a few seconds.

He placed his phone down beside him as sobs made echoed throughout the room. He’d finally told her that he loved her, at least that was out of the way and he felt a heavy load in his chest leave. At least she knew that he loved her, that was it, that was the end.

…now what?

_Now…_

He grasped the black stick tightly in his hand, his thumb playing with the red button.

_It’s over now._

He pressed then everything was black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaaaahhhhh i'm still so sad ;-;
> 
> The call is a REAL call. I called Ray after the "My Defeat" chatroom before entering the VN and branch (idk if it'll work if you watch the VN before calling though I think it works too?) I recommend calling him then. It's SO worth the 10 hourglasses. It's so painful but it's the ONLY time Ray tells you that he loves you. Okay but wait, Ray tells you that he loves you but I forgot if V did. Did V tell us that he loves us, like, explicitly? I rly rly forgot.


	4. Birthday Bash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOOOOOOO THIS ONE'S NOT ACTUALLY ANGSTY BUT I HAVE A WAY TO MAKE IT ANGSTY AND I'LL DO IT AS AN ALTERNATE ENDING WOOT WOOT FOR A HAPPY ENDING (AT LAST!!!)
> 
> # CONTAINS MILD RAY ROUTE SPOILERS

Saeran weakly groaned at the pressing sound of the alarm clock going off. It was on your side of the bed and you weren’t waking up to turn it off. Heck, you weren’t even showing signs of attempting to do so. He opened his eyes slowly and saw you bundled up under the covers, sleeping tightly like there wasn’t a gadget screaming right behind you. Then it dawned upon him, you had stayed up late to deal with another one of his episodes, they never seemed to end even after four years. Frowning, he carefully got off the bed, very much careful to not rock it and wake you up, and went to the other side, turning it off. He got back to his bed and closed his eyes when he heard his phone ringing and it was another alarm.

“ _Why would I even set an alarm?_ ”

He was getting frustrated now. He picked it up from the table next to him and saw the alarm notification.

_My Love’s Birthday!_

His eyes widened at the notification. It… he hadn’t forgotten, had he? No, he supposed he did. He was so sure that it wasn’t any time near so he hadn’t prepared anything but now, he had to get up and at least make it up for a better breakfast than what he usually makes.

Quickly putting on a shirt, he made his way to the kitchen, seeing his twin brother’s face planted on the kitchen table. He dropped his hand down on the table and harshly woke up the red head. Saeyoung jumped in his seat before looking up at Saeran.

“Wha-?” He whispered, eyes still drooping.

Saeran raised a brow before shaking his head and getting all the ingredients he needed to make your favorite breakfast of all. Well… at least what he knew of what your favorite breakfast is, anyway.

“Why are you so early?” Saeyoung asked groggily, going back to the table to lay his head down, “You don’t usually get up this early.”

“It’s her birthday,” Saeran muttered, not looking at Saeyoung, “I have to make this day special.”

“Uh-huh,” Saeyoung spoke before pausing, “You forgot that it’s her birthday, didn’t you?”

“As if.” Saeran rolled his eyes, “I’ve just been… busy.”

“With?” Saeyoung asked

“…stuff.” Saeran replied

“What kind of stuff?” Saeyoung yawned.

“You just shut up, will you?” Saeran nearly snapped but quietly so as to not wake you up, turning to Saeyoung, “At least I’m doing something. How about you clean up the house so she wouldn’t have to?”

“But I’m tiiiiiiired,” Saeyoung whined aloud, “Haven’t you seen my face, younger brother? I’m so pale and tired and sleepy!”

“No excuses,” Saeran replied, “It’s her special day and she shouldn’t do the cleaning. If she so much as touches a broom today, I will-.”

“The eggs are burning,” Saeyoung stated with a yawn, “But fine, I’ll be cleaning today.”

Saeran had quickly turned around to fix the almost mistake for his love’s special breakfast to start her special day. Maybe he would bring her to the spa today? Or to the mall? He wasn’t really that fond of those things because it included being around so many people but if it’ll make her happy, he would gladly even make a speech in front of Korea’s population.

He took a look back but found his brother not sitting there anymore but picking up the wrappers he had thrown last night. Saeran felt relieved. Saeyoung was cooperating and this would avoid making his love stressed this day.

“ _So after the spa, maybe a nice lunch? Should I cook or should I take her out? Well… since we’re already out then, maybe we should eat out._ ”

Saeran nodded at his plan. It was going well and he already had half the day covered. Maybe after he would take her anywhere she wanted? Or to an aquarium… would that be a nice date?

“Yeah, probably, I dunno,” Saeyoung spoke, patting his brother’s shoulder, “But you’re doing good.”

Saeran’s eyes widened, “Was I speaking aloud?”

“Oh… so that wasn’t on purpose?” Saeyoung raised a brow before laughing weakly.

Saeran blushed profusely before turning off the stove. He fidgeted with his fingers before frowning, “Hyung?”

“Oh no I made you upset,” Saeyoung furrowed his brows, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh at you. It’s a really nice plan and she’ll love it for sure.”

“N-no, not that,” Saeran countered, facing his brother, “I… I’ve been dating her for four years and I recently saw this… this ring and it looked nice so I bought it and I thought that it would be nice to see it on her… I…”

Saeran met with his brother’s eyes, “You don’t think I’m rushing this, don’t you?”

Saeyoung’s eyes started tearing up then he pulled Saeran in for a hug, “This is okay, right?”

Saeran nodded.

“You’re not rushing it, y-you’re… it’s the perfect time,” Saeyoung said honestly, “I… wow, I don’t think, I just didn’t realize you wanted to settle down soon and, b-but I’m happy for you! I’m really happy for you, Saeran! She’ll say yes.”

“You think so?” Courage was building up in Saeran’s heart. If what Saeyoung said was true then she really would say yes and he’d be engaged to her and soon he would marry her and they’d spend the rest of eternity together being happy; her serving as the light that helped him out of the pit that he was stuck in and he’d forever hold on to her and have her.

The thought was exciting yet a spool of fear was spooling in his stomach. There wasn’t any guarantee that she would say yes. What if, all this time, she wasn’t really wanting to end up being married to him? What if all she was doing was just out of pity? What if, like how all the other people in his life did, she walked out and left him? He was never good enough for her and yet she was there. She was too good for him. Maybe what he wanted to do was going to destroy what seemed like their perfect relationship. Why would he even submit her into such a horrible task: being his wife. She doesn’t deserve such a painful life after this, she’d already gone through so much. She didn’t deserve his pain.

“No, I… think not,” Saeran contradicted, “Sh-she’s too good for me, I-I can’t destroy her like this.”

Saeyoung pulled him out of the hug, looking at his younger brother with worry in his eyes. Saeran looked absolutely frightened and panicked.

“What’s wrong?” Saeyoung asked

“She doesn’t deserve a guy like me,” Saeran answered bluntly, “She deserves someone well, someone better. Someone like, like Jumin o-or anyone. She deserves someone as perfect as her, not some broken and torn person. I’m _beyond_ repair and she deserves nothing less of perfection.”

“Shh, shh, Saeran,” Saeyoung said calmly, “Who said all this?”

“D-Didn’t you see? Haven’t you seen it yet?” Saeran was downright trembling with the fear in his eyes growing as the tears pooled, threatening to spill, “I’m just going to destroy her, I’m destroying her right now by keeping her here. I-I need to keep her free and happy. She will never be happy with someone like me!”

“That’s not true,” Saeyoung said, emphasizing every syllable, “I would never believe that, she would never believe that, Saeran. It’s not true. You believe me, right?”

“What’s not true?”

The two looked over to the doorway where the topic was standing, stretching her body. You looked over to Saeran then saw the tears. You carefully made your way over to him, wiping his tears away gently.

“Is there something wrong, love? You can tell me,” you spoke softly, eyes meeting with Saeran’s, “What’s wrong?”

You grabbed his hand and squeezed it, assuring him that whatever it was, it was going to be fine like all those other things did.

“Y-You love me?” He asked.

“Of course I do,” you answered, “I love you with all my heart and I would never trade you for anything in the world.”

This made him cry harder. You turned to Saeyoung who just shook his head, not wanting to say a word.

You smiled weakly at Saeran, “Love, do you love me?”

“Yes!” Saeran answered, voice dripping with desperation, “I love you so so so so much I-I don’t even understand.”

“Well it would make me upset to see you cry since I love you back,” you stated, “Please stop crying, Saeran. If you were worried about me not loving you then it’s wrong. I really do love you.”

He turned his cries into silent whimpers before nodding. He wrapped you in his arms tightly, like he never wanted to let go.

“Please don’t hate me for this,” he whispered to her ear.

“I would never,” you replied, patting his back, “Are you feeling better?”

“A bit,” he murmured.

“What do you want to do to feel better?” You asked, “Do you want some ice cream or TV?”

“You would be enough,” he stated, “Just… just stay here for a while.”

You nodded, “Always.”

“You’re not gonna be mad?” Saeran asked.

“I’m not,” you replied, “Should I be?”

“N-no… I don’t think so,” he replied.

“Then I’m not,” you repeated, “You feeling better?”

“A little,” he answered, “B-but I have to prepare… for today.”

He pulled you out of the hug then made a beeline to your shared room. You looked back over at Saeyoung who was just casually leaning up at the fridge. He shot you a small smile before nodding.

“He cooked for you so I think you’d better eat it up before it gets cold,” he stated before leaving you to do his own job: cleaning the house for the day.

Almost as soon as you had finished your plate of food, Saeran had walked in wearing that white long sleeved shirt which he had folded to his elbows, that one short that he knew you loved on him very much.

“We’re looking great today!” You exclaimed, giving a huge smile, “Where are you going?”

“Not just me, us,” he corrected, “Come on, I’m planning to take you out today.”

You raised a brow, “Why so sudden though? I haven’t even taken a shower.”

“It’s okay, I can wait,” he replied, giving you an uneasy smile.

You chuckled, “What are you up to, Saeran?”

“Nothing!” He responded, “I’m not up to anything bad, I swear.”

“I wasn’t talking about anything like that silly.” You giggled, walking up to him then pecking his lips with yours, “But okay, fine. I’ll be quick.”

That blushing face Saeran had whenever you kissed him was very much delightful. It was like a guilty pleasure of yours to see him blushing like that. You went back to your room and hurriedly took a shower and put on a decent dress to match whatever Saeran had planned for today. What was so special that he planned something big?

That made you stop mid-shower.

“ _Is it our anniversary? No, that’s a month away… is it the day we left Mint Eye? …but why would he want to celebrate that? Oh no don’t tell me that it’s his birthday! But it’s not June today… Ugh, think!_ ”

You soom your head and stepped out. No sense wasting time over looking for the reason why Saeran was planning something today.

You went to the living room to find him sitting there patiently. You tapped his shoulder, making him jolt.

“Something on your mind?” You asked and he shook his head.

Yes, there _was_ something in his mind.

“You’re not breaking up with me, are you?” You blurted out.

“What? No! Why would I?” Saeran questioned, “Unless… you’re the one who wants to break up with me, b-but that’s okay! I understand if you found someone better than me it’ll be okay, I’m happy that you’ll be happy s-so-.”

You pressed your lips against his, successfully silencing him. When you pulled away, you kept your face close and smiled gently at him.

“It’s nice that that still works but please don’t walk away this time,” you said, “Let’s go?”

Saeran nodded before standing up and taking your hand in his.

The feel of your hand touching his sinful hands were so unbelievable to him. Your warmth spread throughout his body despite only being in contact with one part of you. Your hand felt so smooth against his, it made him think that maybe you didn’t like his rough hands afterall but when he was removing his hand from yours, you had grabbed him, intertwining your fingers together. His heart fluttered madly at the thought and sight of you entangled with him that he couldn’t help but mutter, “I love you,” under his breath.

“I love you too,” you responded, “Where to?”

•••

Saeran’s plan didn’t seem as concrete. It was like he had a vague idea on what to do next and what to say and where to go. It was like a script being followed only, he didn’t know the situation he was in. The whole day, he was this stuttering and flustered mess that even the slightest touches from you either made him blush profusely or flinch. It was adorable seeing Saeran blush, sure, but this was too much. What in the world was happening?

“Love,” you whispered as Saeran helped you to your chair.

He had brought you to this very nice restaurant for dinner and he was being very gentlemanly and was trying his best to converse with the staff.

“Yes?” He responded as soon as he sat down, “Is there something wrong?”

“Nothing,” you quickly countered, “This is actually really sweet; what you’re doing, I just… can’t figure out why though. You’ve been so nice today, well, you’ve been nice everyday, but today’s an exception. You’ve raised your own bar.”

Saeran looked at you unsteadily, breath shaking, “W-Well I guess it’s the perfect time.”

He locked eyes with yours then placed his hand over the one you had on the table, “Love, it’s… I don’t know I just suddenly thought, wow, it must be a sad life without you in it b-but I guessed you’d probably be happy because you’ll be with someone else-.”

“Saeran,” you muttered.

“No, please, let me finish,” Saeran countered, “I just thought how lucky I am to have you and all that and just… I don’t think I can ever see you walking away.”

There was a moment of silence, “W-Which is why… which is why I’m not letting that happen. I can’t bear the thought of you leaving me it-it just seem like it hurts so much. Please-, please let me spend the rest of my life with you. Please never leave and never walk away. Please be next to me in each waking moment. Please love me until the moment you can’t.”

Saeran suddenly got up and knelt down in front of you, pulling out a box from his back pocket and opening it, showing you the beautiful ring sitting inside it. “Please marry me,” he continued weakly, as if uneasy about what the result may be.

You buried your face in your hands, pulling it away from him before he could see you even start to tear up. The tears trailed down to your palms, pooling at one area.

Saeran got up and hugged you weakly, “Is… this okay?” He whispered.

“Yeah,” you answered then wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him tight, “Yes, Saeran, I-I’ll love you forever and I’ll be with you, always.”

You could hear his laughter all from relief before he pulled you out of the hug to put the ring on your finger. He stared at it for quite some time before you pulled his head up and gave him a lasting kiss on the lips.

He chuckled once the kiss ended before whispering, “Happy birthday, my love.”

“What?” You raised a brow.

“Happy birthday,” he repeated.

“Love… is this why you had all this planned for a ‘special day’?” You questioned.

“Yes,” he answered honestly, “Everything best for my love.”

You chuckled, “Love, my birthday’s only tomorrow!”

Saeran’s eyes widened before he felt his phone vibrate from his pocket.

**TEXT FROM: SAEYOUNG**

_gotcha bro!!! lolololol_

**TEXT FROM: SAEYOUNG**

_but congrats! ure engaged ♡_

**TEXT FROM: SAEYOUNG**

_my twin brother’s growing up so fast T-T_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was a looooooooooooot of build up just so I could make Saeyoung prank Saeran (the main plot of the story)
> 
> Also birthday bash because eeeeeeyyyyy I just had my 20th birthdayyyyyyyy


	5. What I Could

Saeran just stared off, standing stiffly and not moving even a centimeter from the place he stood at. The place was silent, the _world_ was dead silent to him. It was as if the earth had stopped revolving and had forgotten the fact that he was there, trying his best to live a new and better life from what he had for years. And then now, when he finally decided that things would change, this had to happen.

The only movement he made after was about an eternity later when his knees finally gave in and dropped him to the ground, face still stoic and unmoving. He couldn’t accept the fact that this really was happening.

“Saeran,” he heard you whisper then he felt your gentle hand on his shoulder, “Saeran, we should go.”

He dropped the breath he didn’t know he was holding then the dam broke. He sobbed loudly, hands turning to fists, his nails digging into his palms but the physical pain it brought wasn’t up to par with the heartbreak he was experiencing.

He wanted to run away but he couldn’t even tear his eyes away from the horrifying sight. He wanted to not believe that this was happening but it was right there, right in front of his face, reality slapping him hard.

There was no doubt anymore. The search was over, long nights now drifting onto its ending. It was all over. He’d found Saeyoung. He’d found the twin brother he had always sworn revenge too. He’d found the twin brother whom he just recently saw in a new light. He’d found the twin brother that he had been looking for, day and night, high and low, just so he could ask one thing: why.

And now that twin brother laid before him, unmoving. Lifeless.

He’d found his twin brother a second too late.

“Saeyoung!” He desperately called, “Saeyoung please come back! I-I’m not mad! I’m sorry please forgive me!”

He crawled over to his brother quickly, holding the limp and pale hand covered in blood. Saeran shook Saeyoung’s body, waking him up if he still had the chance.

“P-p-please wake up. This isn’t funny, Saeyoung. Please wake up,” he pleaded but his wishes weren’t coming true, “Come back, please. I-I-I’ll be good, I promise. We can, we can do those promises now, Saeyoung. Get up, please!”

“Come on, Saeyoung,” he whispered, voice trembling, “Let’s g-go! Before father catches us! Come on, please, get up. We can hide, I know a place. I-I have a safe place where we can hide. No one will know where it is now come on!” Saeran started pulling Saeyoung’s arm to get him to stand.

Saeran trembled visibly, the pain, frustration, and confusion making him overwhelmed all at the same time. He swore he felt his vicious personality uprising to the surface, coming back for _more_ revenge but he had to suppress it. Right now, all he felt was broken, unloved… alone. He felt so empty, not having his other half living anymore.

He grabbed Saeyoung’s shoulder and pulled his twin in for a tight hug, one that was long overdue. He cried on his twin’s shoulder while the one was just there. It didn’t feel real to Saeran, none of it felt real. This was just a big scare tactic from his father. The one he was holding was just a dummy with his brother’s face on it. At the end of the day, he would continue his search for his real brother.

Or so he hoped.

Saeran had felt like he’d cried enough in this lifetime. The pain of his childhood, assuming that he’d been abandoned by the one and only person he ever trusted, being brainwashed, drugged, and tortured by someone who promised that he’d be taken care of, almost losing the only person who wanted to stay, and now this, holding his brother’s lifeless body so early in his life. It was all too much.

“We should let the others take care of it, Saeran,”

He heard you. He always heard you. But this time, he chose not to listen. How can he even break away from his brother now? Now that he was finally found after months of waiting and searching.

“Y-you always called on to God,” Saeran whispered, “Are you with Him now? Th-that’s unfair, don’t you think? Shouldn’t you still be here with me? Can you go back? Please come back here. I’m sorry. I’m-. N-no! I won’t apologize like this! I want you to hear it. Please, Hyung. Wake up!”

Saeran turned to you, eyes beat red from all the crying that was happening. He called your name desperately, voice laced with pleads that you help him. But help him with what exactly? You can’t bring the dead back to life.

“Convince me to wake him up,” he repeated from the hundredth time, “He’s-he’s got to be fine, I just know it! It’s Saeyoung! He never got sick! He’s my brother, I know him like that. He should-, he should be the one taking care of me, not the other way around.”

You bit your lip before placing your hand on his shoulder, “Saeran,” you spoke, your voice digging into his bones, “He’s gone.”

Saeran let out a stutter of nonsense. He wanted to say something but he couldn’t. He didn’t know how. Here you were, the love of his life, telling him that his brother was gone.

“D-o, do you have any idea how much of a lie that is?” He whispered harshly, glaring at you, “I… I thought you’d always believe in me! N-, I’m asking for your help and now… now you’re feeding me lies?!” He snapped, now shouting at you, “You’re worse than Rika!”

Once the words came out of his mouth he stopped. He woke up from the stupor that he was in; the denial he was going through.

He blinked once, twice, thrice. Then he turned to the body of the man limped in his arms.

It felt like he was kicked in the gut and at the back simultaneously. It felt worse than when he was being forced to down bottles upon bottles of the Elixir. The headaches, the torments, the internal tremors, and confusion, it was all just an insect bite to this.

He sat down and crossed his feet, laying the body on his legs. He grabbed his twin’s shirt and lifted it up slightly, seeing the bruises, wounds, and the bullet hole drenched in blood. He could see the outline of his twin’s ribs; it matched the body he saw when he faced the mirror. He could imagine the torment that his brother went through.

Saeran’s eyes travelled to his twin’s wrists. It was obvious that he’d been tied up by the bruises along his wrists. There were obvious signs of friction, something Saeran had often seen on new members who were disobedient at first. Saeran had hoped that his twin wasn’t tied up from the ceiling.

There were numerous cuts along his forearms and the extent of his body but Saeran’s heart clenched at one fact that he’d noticed. The knife, or whatever it was that was used, was blunt. The cuts weren’t that skin deep but they were enough to inflict pain and some were even healing. How would some deep wound heal so fast?

His twin’s nose was broken, as with the jaw. Saeran was petrified to even touch his twin’s face lest he wanted it to fall apart. It was the most fragile he’d seen his brother and his brother was the strongest person to exist in his world.

Tears pooled in his eyes again.

Oh the things he would do if only he was there with his brother. He’d willingly die in Saeyoung’s place. Saeyoung didn’t stay. Saeyoung didn’t keep his promises. Saeyoung never told him why he was gone so suddenly that he was left wondering day and night where his twin was or if he was still alive.

But Saeyoung wasn’t a bad person. Saeran was. That was why he was suffering through this much pain but Saeyoung shouldn’t be the cost of it.

“I,” he started, voice raspy, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said. You’re not like Rika.” He turned his head upwards to see that you weren’t there anymore.

“Jumin, where did-.” He looked to his left and saw that Jumin and his team was also gone.

Saeran looked back at Saeyoung’s body and found that he wasn’t there anymore.

He jumped up in fright as everything just disappeared at once and there was only darkness.

Was this payment for his bad deeds? Was he getting the end of his crimes? Was he finally going to suffer from them?

“ _Saeran…_ ”

Saeran gasped and looked around, knowing the voice that he hadn’t heard since he was fourteen.

“ _Saeran… I still… I still have to find you…_ ”

“Saeyoung,” he whispered before his twin brother appeared in front of him, blood dripping from his nose and injuries all over his body shown.

Saeran ran towards Saeyoung only he disappeared.

“ _I still have to_ cough cough _see him, Vanderwood…_ ”

“ _I can’t…_ ”

“You can’t what?” Saeran called into nothing.

“ _I can’t leave him like this._ ”

“You’re not leaving!” Saeran assured.

“ _S-S-Saeran…_ ” the voice wheezed.

“ _You have to w-wake up._ ”

Saeran opened his eyes rapidly, chest heaving and beads of sweat dripping down his body. He felt like he couldn’t move but he felt awake and alert. He could only stare at the ceiling and breathe hurriedly as if he was running.

The movement from the other side of the bed aided him to make his fingers twitch until he gained full control of his body again. He shifted to face the person beside him, moving away stray pieces of hair from the person’s face.

He pulled the person in close, hugging her with all his might.

“Saeran?” You asked, “What’s wrong?”

“I dreamt about Saeyoung,” he muttered, “He’s… We’re gonna find him, right?”

“Of course we are,” you responded, “We’ll cover the last few miles tomorrow morning so you have to be awake for that. Are… you okay?”

Saeran nodded, “Hearing that, yes. Sweet dreams, my love.”

“You’re not okay,” you spoke, “Was there something wrong in your dream?”

“Saeyoung died,” the taste of the word was bitter in his mouth, “He’s… I’m believing that he’s not dead. I just have to. I still have to tell him some things.”

You smiled weakly, “Yeah, that’s true, so there must be no way that Saeyoung’s dead any time soon.”

He felt a strong ‘what if’ settle in the pit of his stomach. It haunted him, knowing that there was still a possibility that Saeyoung was dead, had been dead for the past month and haven’t even been found.

But he was going to hold on to that hope that, out there, Saeyoung was alive. And Saeran would tell him just how much he meant.

•••

On the other side of the town, a red-headed man slowly opened his eyes and smiled weakly. He breathed weakly but deeply, fighting to keep his eyes still open.

“Hey! Don’t you dare die on a time like this, agent!” The person tied behind him ordered.

The agent turned his chair around with the rest of his strength and gave the other a sloppy grin, “My twin’s gonna save me tomorrow.”

The other’s stare softened at that, “How are you so sure?”

The agent shrugged, “Guess it’s just a twin’s intuition. Or you could call it… in-twin-tion.” He let out a miserable excuse of laughter but it was genuine.

The other couldn’t help but crack a small grin, “At a time like this? Really?”

“What can I say?” The agent responded weakly before repeating, “My twin’s gonna save me tomorrow.”


End file.
